ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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