IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
