Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
