I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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