You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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