Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
