I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
