Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
