we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
