HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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