stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
