In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
