Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
