Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
