I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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