she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
