All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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