My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
