I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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