So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
