I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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