You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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