whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
