am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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