i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
