Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
