Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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