Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
