Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
