shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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