Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Four minutes until I can fart!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
