he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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