we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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