Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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