Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
