ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Fuck appropriateness.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
