I could have mohawked her pubes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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