This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
