C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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