Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
