never play flip cup with pint glasses
Quick, to the slutcave!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
