I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
