I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
