it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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