i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
