Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
