i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
