need another drink. this is the easiest way
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
