he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
