i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
