I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
