You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
