my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
